i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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