she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
