He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
