i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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