She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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