He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
