My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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