i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Let's get the cat blown out
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
