ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
