whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
