Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
