woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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