I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I party with great urgency now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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