I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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