do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
