I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
