we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
