Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
