so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Houston, we have a squirter
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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