Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
