Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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