I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
