Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My dick has a subreddit
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
