I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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