also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
