she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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