You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
