just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
