So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
