i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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