Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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