She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
