with your own penis?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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