I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
