How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
