Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
