Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
