I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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