you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
