If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
