im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
