I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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