This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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