You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
