Have you finally orgasmed yet?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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