idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
3pm strippers are depressing
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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