I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
