Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
