I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
