I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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