Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
