I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just blew my weed a kiss
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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