he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
