My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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