ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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